Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Nighttime Musings

Papa and Sabine

On the way home from church this past Sunday, Cesar began to talk about how great it is that we have three kids. Before the girls were born he was already talking about the next baby. Let's just have these two arrive safe and sound was all I could utter as I glanced warily and sideways at him. Near the end I could barely breathe remember and here he was already planning our next pregnancy.

Cesar enjoys the fact that he is one up in the child department compared to his siblings and mine. Rafael is father to Charles and Sofia. Helena is mother to Ari and Gina. Compared to my siblings we are somewhere in the middle. Joshua is father to Cameron, Addi, Zack and Kade. Ephraim is father to Daphne, Harry, Owen and Daisy. Millie is mother to Lucas, Emry and Carly. Taylor is a new father to Adam. Elizabeth is mother to Keegan with a second bundle to arrive this June. We are somewhere in the middle.

Momma and Marlo

As I nurse our babes I have lots of time alone with my quiet self. Sometimes I nod off. Sometimes I play solitaire on my phone and get caught up on facebook happenings. Sometimes I make mental to-do lists which I may or may not remember in the morning. Lots of times I stare across the room at the giant tree I painted on the nursery wall with it's fabric leaves and smile and feel happy inside knowing the miracle which has come to pass for Cesar and I. Sometimes I look down at my babies as they nurse and marvel over their smallness and my great feelings of love for them. Then it happens. It sneaks up slowly within me, but it's there. I'm afraid to write the words... As I hold my little girl babies close to my breast I have a feeling that we are not through. That someone else is missing from our little brood. I do hope it's just a "someone" though.

Hugo, Momma and Marlo

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