A Post of Updates

"It is a great art, to saunter."  Henry David Thoreau

The kids are in need of a post of updates.  So here goes.

Hugo is our Billy Elliot.  He has always liked to dance and sing, but lately he has been a twirling, whirling boy.  He loves to shake his hips Elvis style, with bent knees and all, while at the same time, he'll jump in the air and spin about.  I'm beginning to think he might actually like a dance class.

We watched Cinderella one morning last week while in the midst of a two hour snow delay.   Hugo has been singing the Fairy Godmother song, which plays from his sisters pink Disney princess microphone, *all*wrong*.   You know the one, where she turns the mice into horses, a pumpkin into a grand coach, and in the end, Cinderella gets her gown and famous glass slippers.  Well, The Fairy Godmother sings "Bipitty, Bopitty, Boo" and Hugo sings "Hipitty, Hopitty, Who" soooo, we watched the movie.  Later that day, I happened upon Hugo singing in the quiet of his room and he wasn't singing "Bipitty, Bopitty, Boo" as we had practiced again and again, the little turkey was singing Cinderella's "O... sing, sing sweet nightingale, sing, sing aaaaAAAAaaaaaaa".  It was pure sweetness to my heart and ears.

Marlo.  She strongly dislikes having her face washed.  This girl has fuzzy, bed head every single morning.  She pats her tummy as she's being dressed, proud as punch at its roundness.  She steals shooshas from out of Sabine's mouth, even if she already has one occupying her own mouth.  She gives awesome, tight hugs around your neck.  She likes to hug and kiss her Hello Kitty dolls.  Just tonight she ruffled her lips with blowing air to make the snorting sound of a horse, surprised me to pieces.  She is still knee walking.  She loves asparagus.  And blueberry pancakes, and strawberries, and pretzels, and ham, and macaroni and cheese, and risois.  If Marlo doesn't like an item of food, check the expiration date, something must be wrong with it.  She pulls hair barrettes out in two seconds flat.  She does bring them to me.  She also pulls barrettes out of her sister Sabine's hair.  Her favorite room in the house, Hugo's.  She loves sitting in her new (Hugo's) forward facing carseat.   Marlo is her sister Sabine's side kick in the world of big smoke t-r-o-u-b-l-e, trouble.  Her legs are as ticklish as her Papa's.  She has the best, best belly laugh.  When she toots, she'll make eye contact with you and grunt/laugh like a boy.  Miss Marlo has a personality which people gravitate toward. 

Sabine.  She loves having her face washed.  This girl has pretty curls at the back of her head. She has no tummy to speak of.  Isn't in love with the shoosha like her twin sister is, never has been.  She prefers her musical giraffe with its slowly bobbing head.  She wants serious snuggle time in the morning.  As soon as the day comes that she'll be free of her baby prison of a crib, I'm afraid she'll move into our bed.  Like, for forever.  Sabine love, loves her pink, gingham Hello Kitty despite the fact that she'll toss her to the floor once each and every nap and nighttime as I cover up Marlo in her crib.  I think it's her way of getting attention from me *one*more*time* before lights out.  She says "bok" for the chicken sound.  Is still topsy turvey with her walking skills and is quite accident prone, but a trooper.  Sabine has a love for books.  She also gives more attention to detail with her toys compared to her sister.  She loves strawberries.  She wont eat whole blueberries, but if I mash them into pancakes or muffins... poof!, down the hatch they disappear.  She also likes cheese, yogurt, pretzels, ham, banana muffins, risois, spaghetti, and steamed dumplings.  No asparagus for her.  Sabine is gentle.  She makes singing sounds with her breathy, Demi Moore like voice.  She yet has her birthmark on her leg.  Sabine's favorite room in the house, Hugo's.  She is a curious baby and gets into babyish mischief which neither her brother before her, nor her sister born 3 minutes before her, ever dreamed of.  She isn't quite sure of her new carseat.  Pablo, of the Backyardigans fame, is her boyfriend.

7 Months Old Today!

Marlo and Sabine are 7 months old today, I can hardly believe the words as I type them.  7 months!  Wow!  We've got sleeping down, a daily routine in motion, car seats are now our friends, the girls finally enjoy their baths, will now allow me to stop and look at items in the market without my needing to keep the cart in a constant back and forth motion and they will both snuggle and coo and smile with any willing takers.  They even managed to keep all four of their black Mary Jane's on their feet throughout all of church this past Sunday.  Whew!  Misunderstood Marlo is a thing of the past until ummmmm 4:30/5 pm or so...  I can deal.

In the past few days Sabine has begun to make all sorts of new sounds.  The girl is finally talking and blowing raspberries like silly.  Miss Sabine can roll from her tummy to her back and this week she has begun to roll from her back onto her tummy, and she's the floppy one!  Marlo hasn't mastered the skill of rolling from back to tummy yet.  Sabine is still such a true, true sweetheart.  In her EI Evaluation she was described as a "sweet, calm baby".  That's my girl!  Only complains if hungry or if her twin sister bonks her in the face with a rattle.

Two babies on the floor for tummy time, at the same time, means someone will be kicked, swung at with arms and elbows, closed fists, toys in hand or a lovely combination of all four!  Guaranteed.  Oh, and heads bonked from all the roll over exercises as one sister rolls over onto/into the other.  It happens, often.  I do try to keep them apart, really I do, but the two girls have begun to scoot around.  Their movements aren't very obvious to the untrained upright walkers eye yet.  I lay them on the floor and leave the room and when I come back, they've either flipped over or have scooted to the other end of the blanket and changed direction on me.  I've caught myself frozen in mid step as I've come around the corner of the room and found one girl or the other is not where I last placed her.  Or is she?  My brain is a bowl full of mush.  I need a nanny cam to capture all the floor action and then watch the scooting about in fast forward play.  Popcorn and a movie anyone?!  If the girls had been identical twins, I'd be in real trouble right about now. 

I need a baby proofing floor plan.  And lots of gates.  Like soon.

Our Papa came home early this hot, humid day for some water play!  I tossed a needy Marlo into his arms so I could finish up nursing Sabine in peace.  Cesar said he couldn't take Marlo outside.  That he and Hugo were going to cool off by spraying each other with the hose!  I asked him to figure it out.  Outside he went, swimsuit clad with his baby daughter perched on one arm.  Sabine and I listened to all their squeals of laughter from our comfortable, dry spot on the couch as the two boys shot cold water out of the hose at one another throughout the backyard.  We heard Marlo call out in protest a few times.  Soon Sabine snoozed in her crib and outside I went.  I retrieved Marlo from her Papa and he was sad to see her go since she had become his upper body no spray zone protection from young Hugo and the hose.  Now Papa was fair game.

Skinny little Hugo eventually froze out.

 

The girls looked right then left, then right and left again, and oh boy, I gave up.  Rodrigo and Evie walking into the house and out of the house were much more interesting than Momma and her forever flashing camera!

Doctors

I took the girls for a developmental screening last week. It was a horrible, no good, driving rain type day. Hugo was dropped off at a friends house to play while Ruth Ann met me at the screening site to help with the girls. The door to the school was opened for me as I ran with the girls all tucked in and heavy in their seats. The women had all assumed I'd be a no show that day. I smiled and assured them that this appointment was very important to me. The paperwork was handled quickly and the girls were gushed over. Everyone loves the girls and their quick smiles. All and all, it was a good visit. Because our girls are so young the head of the screening department was called in to asses them. I liked her a lot. She picked up on my concerns quickly and asked questions which made me think. The screening results led to a recommendation of a full evaluation for both girls. I still am not sure what the difference between a screening and an evaluation is, the answer I had been given was funding. As I left the warmth of the school building for the blustery day outside I felt peaceful. I felt settled and happy that I had listened to my gut and brought our girls in. I think that Marlo and Sabine are and will be fine, we just need a little help.

A week has gone by and already Sabine has made a great deal of improvement with her floppy neck. I've been trying out a few physical therapy tips that were advised. We've been assigned a case manager who is coming to the house this Thursday afternoon. She has papers for me to sign and wants to see the girls in their natural environment. I wonder what Hugo will think of all this?

Yesterday the girls had a well baby appointment with the family doc. Dr Amy said they looked great. Marlo is 12 lb 1 oz and Sabine is 11 lb 1 oz, both are about 25 inches long. I asked her about Marlo's rough skin and the cradle cap upon her head, she recommended a vinegar bath to reset the ph of her skin. Dr Amy agreed with my decision to get the ball rolling with Early Intervention. Near the end of this month we have an appointment set up with a developmental pediatric doc, its standard for preemies who spent time in the NICU. Also this month we'll be visiting plastics to follow up with the birth mark upon Sabine's leg.

So, so many doctor visits happening. Cesar wants me to schedule a check-up for him on the next available Friday morning. I was supposed to have done it today, but I forgot. I hope by typing this here it will trigger my brain to remember for tomorrow. Sorry Hunny!

Life is good. The kids (plural! yeah!!) are great. Evie the Cat is awesome. Rodrigo is ancient. Cesar is fabulous. And I, well... I am sleepy. Good Night!

Lost In Her Hat

People go crazy about these sweet fruit hats on the girls.

We heard a playgroup was meeting at the Rec today so I dressed the girls and packed a lunch for Hugo and I. As I stood up from tucking the girls into their car seats and looked at them from this new advantage point, my heart smiled. They looked so cute! I ran for the camera and realized that I didn't need to adjust Marlo's hat. This girl is always - lost in her hat. Since she came home from the hospital, we've been rescuing her from being lost in her hat. Grandma Kris coined the term and boy, did she peg this girl! When we're out and about, people stop me all the time, "Her hat is covering her eyes." or "The hat is over your baby's face." Sometimes, when we're out with bright lights overhead, I don't mind her being a little lost in her hat. I think it has protected her preemie eyes, it's amazing to me how very much she has grown and changed so quickly. Sometimes, I don't even mind her being lost in her hat here at home. The hat is like a sleep shade. A nap signal. A silencer. Sometimes, I even tug down her hat over her pretty blue eyes at nap time.

I went through all the photos I have of the girls so far, looking for Marlo being lost in her hat and found surprisingly few of them. Kinda sad really that I didn't think to document this silly baby behavior before now. Here are the few I've got... and by the way, Marlo and Sabine have the same head measurement, but Sabine is rarely ever lost in her hat.

Full face mode.

...20 minutes later, half face exposure, her best look.

One more time. Full face mode of being lost in her hat.

Half face exposure. Yes, she was awake, hence the kicking foot.

Sabine. Miss Sabine has just started to take her hat off her head and eats it. I haven't actually watched her remove her own hat, I've only stumbled upon her munching away at it.

I will add photos to this post as I remember to run and grab the camera before rescuing Miss Marlo from being lost in her hat!

Sisters

Hugo has been telling me that he loves Sabine, not Marlo. Uh, oh.... What!? How did this happen? Why would he choose one baby sister over the other? Already??

During those beginning weeks with the girls at home we did talk about Marlo as being the cranky one. If one of the babies were crying, it was most likely to have been Marlo. But this was something we would all laugh about together. Little Miss Cranky Crank! Now, Marlo does fuss some at nap and bed times, but she is soooo much better! Sweetness she is, I promise! Take a look at these smiles in the following photos! Marlo is all about smiling and cooing and catching your gaze these dazes. If you squeeze both sides of her upper chest, just below her arm pits, wait, wait, wait - she'll laugh! You've got to wait those three little beats though. So darn cute. Her tummy is round, like a bowl full of jelly, not Sabine. Sweetness I tell you. Sabine smiles and is beginning to coo ever so softly. It's like she's whispering her secrets to you. Both girls light up like Christmas trees as you bend your face into their field of vision in the morning while they're in their cribs. I feel like Sabine is now beginning to wake up. Beginning to show us her personality. I feel like I know Marlo somewhat already, where as Sabine, she is yet a mystery. So why did Hugo choose her as his favorite?

Cesar and I have spent this past week letting Hugo know that we love both our girls. Both Marlo and Sabine are our favorites and how lucky we are to have two little girls in our lives. Two sisters.

Problem solved. The turn around happened as quickly as it had occurred. Thank heavens he has caught on. Now he is all about telling me how he loves both his sisters, not just one.

Sabine

I have no time to blog. Enjoy.

Miss Marlo

Little Miss Marlo has begun to turn the corner on her misunderstoodness.

She has been content during her awake time.

She seems far less anxious.

She still will not wait, one moment longer than need be, when it's time to eat.

She doesn't like to make eye contact. It's something I've begun to notice with her increased wakefulness. This photo shows her anxiety over the possibility of my closing up the milk shop early. I whisper in her ear not to worry so.

She squeaks and sighs like a puppy dog as she nurses.

Finally, she is content to kick around and just be after she has fed.

The Girls Are Out!

This past Tuesday, November 3rd, the girls were born at 11:55 & 11:58 am via a c-section. Cesar wasn't too sure he wanted to be in the delivery/operating room with me. It has been a teeny weeny source of contention between us. Driving up to the hospital that morning Cesar asked, "So what's happening with the delivery?" Translation: May I be off the hook for that portion of the day? Pretty Please!? My answer, "We've already discussed this." The van was silent for a few clicks down the highway.

I had been pretty calm the week before the section, knowing that I was soon to be cut open. But, but, but... once in that cold OR, I kinda freaked. I did make it through the spinal before my meltdown began. It hurt. Then I cried and shook and didn't believe the spinal would work and I'd feel every slice of the knife... Why couldn't they just knock me out? A woman stuck her face in front of mine to keep eye contact with me. She rubbed my arm. She used a pin over and over to prove to me that my body really was numbing up and that I wouldn't feel a thing more than some tugging and possibly pressure. She knew I didn't believe her. She hollered out questions as to why there was a hold up. She knew I was turning into a ticking time bomb stretched out on the table like I was, and might soon blow. I knew I was freaking out. Panic mode was taking over. I began to wonder if Cesar had been right all along, that he shouldn't see me this way. I was about to request that they not bring him into the room when suddenly he appeared, replacing the kind woman. Instantly I felt better. I still cried and I was still frightened but I was so happy to see my husband. He held my hand and looked at me with soft eyes. He tried to crack jokes - they weren't funny. In their own way, they did help. Cesar was there and he was excited and little boy like.

We were told the cutting had begun, they were going in. I did feel tugging and I did feel a whole lot of pressure. My lungs were being squeezed and smooshed like never before. I gasped for breath. Baby A was out and she was screaming. Loud! When I heard her cries I was so, so happy that I hadn't been knocked out. I cried happy tears. More tugging and pulling and soon Baby B was out. I have felt like I already know who is who within my womb for a long while now. I was concerned that the girls wouldn't be pulled out as the Baby A and the Baby B I've come to know these past months. The doc assured me that they were taken out in the order which we were both familiar with. The birth orders do get changed up, whoever pops out first is forever know as Baby A, or the older one. Anyway, my Baby A and Baby B retained their womb identity's after birth. As each daughter of mine was brought over by her nurse my first impression of them was how much they looked like their big brother. Feminine versions of Hugo obviously, but still, I saw so very much of him in their faces, minus his jet black birth hair! Their hair is a light brown color. I couldn't wait to see the girls side by side to take in how much they looked alike, my first impression was - a lot.

And their Papa? He would leave me and check on Baby A and take pictures then come back to my side to fill me in. Once Baby B was out I was left in the dust again as he eagerly went to her side. He came back smiling and told me all about her. He didn't sit. He remained standing and watched the girls being cleaned and weighed in their two isolettes by their NICU teams. Cesar also watched me get stitched up. Silly husband. No cord cutting as he thought he'd like to do after Hugo was born. He simply watched me sewn back together.

Marlo Amalia weighed 4lbs. 11 oz.

Sabine Luvenia weighed 5lbs. 8oz.

Marlo

My recovery was on the messy and long side. I didn't get to see the girls until 10ish that night.

Sabine

Sabine

The view out my hospital room window late one afternoon. I heard the helicopter buzzing past a lot. It was a happy/sad sound. It made me think of how lucky Cesar and I are. How all the pregnancy drama is mostly over and we will hopefully soon have concrete answers as to what is happening physically with our girls. They look so, so healthy. Neither of them needed oxygen after birth. They were in two different nurseries, up one floor from me, in the NICU. Their isolettes were open to the air when I first saw them. Marlo still hadn't been fully bathed and she was messsssy. She wanted to sleep. They didn't want to disturb her because she needed the rest from the trauma of birth so, no real bath for Miss Marlo until day 2.

Marlo

Marlo has surprised us all. She was the babe who was the cause of concern within my tummy. She is positive for the blood antibody. They went back and forth on whether to transfuse her or not, for days. Finally, the decision was made that she is doing well and does not need a transfusion. I'll believe it wont happen once we finally have her home with us. She may have to go under some photo therapy treatment but other wise is doing great. She is a total pig with her bottles. She is allowed as much nursing and formula as she'll take. Her body hasn't completely gotten the rhythm of maintaining its body temperature so she is under minimal heat in her isolette.

A nurse explained to me yesterday that the smaller babies, who are considered to be stressed within the womb, usually find the outside world much less stressful and will thrive. Where as, the larger babies are obviously content with life in the womb and find their new outside digs to be more stressful and have a slower go with their new environment. This is the pattern which our two girls have fallen into.

Sabine

Miss Sabine is chubby and sassy. She kicks her legs about and swings her arms all over! She loves to make eye contact with you. Cesar has nicknamed her the grumpy one and Marlo the angel baby, we'll see if these nick names stick. I like Sabine's chubby cheeked, toad like stare! The nurses nicknamed her the Gerber baby.

Health wise, Sabine is strong and just fine. She was born with a large, dark birthmark on the outside of her left leg near her knee. We don't know if it will lighten or grow or change at all. Her main trouble is that she has become lazy with her bottles. The nurses say that her body can't decide whether to put their energy into keeping her warm, or sucking down her milk. For this reason she was put back under heat and a feeding tube was placed in her nose down to her stomach. The docs have gone back and forth with her progress. Telling me in the evening that the following day she'd be released to the term nursery only to discover during my morning visit that she was still in Nursery 5. Her sister was moved from Nursery 4 to Nursery 6 on Thursday, it's a step down unit. Good girl Marlo! I couldn't wait for Sabine to join her. It has been strange for me having them in different nurseries on different feed schedules with different issues and different docs. Trying to care for myself at the same time has been tiring. I need rest, to eat, to walk, to rest, to pump, to drink lots of fluids and to smooch, hold, feed, learn about and love on our girls. All is happy but my emotions are right, right there under the surface waiting to expose myself and how tired and scared I really am.

Angel Baby Marlo

I did have two meltdowns. The first happened in the hallway near my room one fabulous afternoon. I was asked to take a wheelchair on my next visit up to see the girls. The nurses were afraid I was physically over doing it and would pay the next day. The wheelchair is frustrating because I have to buzz for a nurse and request a chair and then, someone has to push me up to the 7th floor. Kinda embarrassing. I am an obedient girl though, so I did as I was asked. A nurse went in search of a chair for me, she was gone a long time. I sat on my bed and waited. I stood at the door and peeped outside through a crack as I waited. Finally I stood around in the hallway looking this way and that for her return. Once she appeared with a chair I sat my fanny down and suddenly another nurse, who I haven't seen before, busted out a doorway down the hall and demanded I give up my chair for her patient whose taxi was waiting downstairs. So, I thought. Why couldn't that nurse find her patient her own chair? The discussion was flying about my head. I kept starring at the clock watching the countdown to my daughter's nursing window pass me by. More nurses arrived hearing the scuttle happening in the hall. I couldn't understand what the big deal was. I was simply doing what I had been asked to do and I just wanted to be wheeled upstairs so I could feed my girl. A nurse made eye contact with me at one point and my eyes sprung a leak, a leak like Niagra Falls. It was awful. It just wouldn't stop. I did win the chair though. In the end, the patient wanted to walk. We bumped into her at the elevator, her and that nasty nurse. Once upstairs, I did get to feed Sabine. And I did cry off and on for the rest of the day over the smallest of things. My nurse was sent to check me out for a psyche evaluation. All I could think was that I had just experienced an early c-section with twins who are up in the NICU people! I should be allowed to be hormonal and emotional and cry if I want too! For awhile even!

The second cry fest happened on Friday afternoon. I walked into Nursery 6 for Marlo's feeding time. Her nurse was finishing up with her vital signs so I remained standing and glanced about the room at Marlo's neighbors. I noticed that the isolette across from her had one of my flannel blankets on it. We are welcome to bring clothing, blankets, hats and a single, small toy of our own for our children to wear and possibly look at. The nurseries have lots of clothes, hats and blankets which they supply for children whose parents were surprised by their arrival or for whatever reason, don't have anything of their own in the hospital. Church groups and families have been very generous with their donations for these teeny tiny babes. The items are all adorable and beautifully made, I've enjoyed looking at all the knitted and quilted items. I have to mention that the girls hats I knitted were the talk of the entire NICU floor. Once life at home settles, I have a goal of knitting a bunch of the heart hats up for donation. Back to the cry fest... So, I saw the blanket and thought fine, no big deal, I'll mention it later to her nurse. Looked back at Marlo, the nurse was still doing her thing. Looked around the room again and my eyes settle on the isolette across from Marlo. Wasn't that one of my gray hats up on top of my flannel blanket covering the isolette lid? Does Marlo have her hat on? I bent down and looked at her. Yup, gray hat was covering up her head. What does that mean? How did the 2nd gray hat get in here? It should be in Nursery 5 with chubby cheeked Miss Sabine. I walked over to the isolette in question and peeped inside. My eyes widened with surprise at the realization that this was baby! That's Sabine in there! Wouldn't you think the nurses would have told me the good news once I entered the nursery???? Don't get me wrong about the nurses. One nurse is nicer than the next in this hospital, I've been very impressed and grateful for myself and the girls. Except for that nasty, wheelchair highjacking nurse. I still don't like her. Back on subject though. I saw our Sabine and it was happy Niagra Falls tear time all over again for me. Our girls were near each other. Finally, finally, finally. So strange having them apart like they had been the past few days. Days which really felt like weeks for me.

Chubby cheeked Sabine in her heart hat.

Sabine

Sabine in a donated outfit.

View out the windows in the nurses lounge. I spied the glorious sunshine lighting up the trees and buildings while walking back to my room, which is right next door but does not have this view, on Friday. I asked permission to enter and took some photos. The light and early winter sky hit me in a breath taking sort of way. I could have sat their and enjoyed it for a long, long while, but I didn't. I was a good girl and went to my room for a nap before dinner. I've been told by friends that it has been a cold week outside. I've been in hospital twilight zone as far as weather or television news is concerned. Focused on healing and being close by with our babies as much as possible.

Cesar and Miss Marlo

This was taken Saturday afternoon. Discharge day for me and only me. I nursed and bottle fed both girls. Sabine didn't take very much by bottle, the rest was given through her feeding tube. I held her as she slept wrapped up snug in her blanket and received her milk. The girls are both good burpers and thank heavens for that because Hugo was horrible at burping. He preferred to barf all over me and anyone else near by. The girls both smile all the time. It may just be gas, as I'm sure my Mother will tell me it is, but I'm taking these first smiles as a sign that they recognize our voices and are happy to be a family of 5.

Marlo is eating while Sabine sleeps away behind her.

Miss Marlo

Papa and Marlo

Marlo

Proud Papa Cesar wore his hospital bracelets with pride to work all week long.

Sabine is to the left and Marlo is on the right.

Papa and Sabine