A Lap With A View

This is what I see when I look down. My lap is disappearing rapidly.

My girlfriend Ruth Anne stopped by late this afternoon. She joined me at the dining room table as I cut bird shapes from fabric and we talked over some chilly ginger ale. Mid sentence she stopped talking and began to laugh and laugh. She apologized for her laughter as she covered her mouth with her hands only to have more laughter pool up from her throat. I was a bit baffled at her silliness as our conversation had been on the serious side. The beans were spilled, she was laughing at the size of my bulbous tummy. I looked down and there it was. I agreed with her that it's truly some sight to behold. She said from her vantage point, it looked as though I had cut a basketball in half and simply stuck it under my shirt. Oh so quickly, she corrected herself and said, "Not a basketball, I mean a beach ball!" Que more laughter.

I can't wear my maternity jeans anymore. I pulled them on today as I hurried to get Hugo to school on time. They just about cut off my circulation to the lower half of my body while I drove the five minutes to his preschool. The way they're cut low in the crotch for the tummy panel is not nearly low enough for my stomach. I really need the maternity panel to begin down at the crotch seam. I about died trying to climb the wide steps in front of his school. From behind, I must have looked like some bowlegged sailor man fresh off the high seas with my legs needing to swing out left and right to climb each step. I mostly wear just awesome looking stretchy pants and leggings all the time now. The girls are hanging low low low low.

p.s. - My mother wants me to wear a jumper. She cracks me up! Stretchy pants from the juniors department, we're on.